Mobile crazy

When I walk down the High Street in the town where I live, which is about 20 miles north of London, I sometimes feel I ought to pinch myself because I feel as if I have suddenly been transported into the land of the poor demented. Everybody seems to be talking to themselves and when you stand in a queue and you hear a voice behind you, you imagine that the person is talking to you but you realise that he is by himself. It is then that it dawns on me that no-one has gone mad and that no-one is talking to me – they are all using mobile phones. Have you noticed that mobile phone users tilt their heads to the left or the right? Perhaps in years to come homo sapiens will evolve into two types: the left tilters and the right tilters. You've probably guessed by now that I am not a fan of communication by mobile phones. Well, I have a confession to make - I can't stand the things. Don't get me wrong. I can honestly see the value of them when used in an emergency and I normally have a great fondness for gadgets. My family teases me for rushing out and buying all the latest technological gadgets. My wife has a mobile as do both of my sons and I must admit the two of them are very good at keeping in touch with us and they regard mobile phones as part of their daily lives. Their jobs take them all over Britain and also abroad so to them they are indispensable but me and mobiles just don't get on. I suppose my hatred of the little monsters started some years ago when we were attending a performance of Mahler 9 in London's Barbican Hall given by the London Symphony Orchestra conducted by Michael Tilson Thomas and towards the end of the symphony when orchestra, audience and conductor were drained with emotion, a wretched phone rang out during the beautifully quiet final moments. Still, I'm sure mobiles will continue to flourish and also diminish in size and become so small that they will probably end up as a fashion accessory worn on your clothes or on your person. Maybe that English idiom 'to laugh up your sleeve' will turn into a reality!