Essays

Are you sociable? Do you like making conversation? Are you gregarious (like the company of others)? Are you the sort of person who likes joining in or taking part in communal (group) activities? A lot of questions, I know but what I'm really trying to find out is how you would be in a certain situation. Let me get to the point and set (describe) the scene. You have got tickets for a show because the star (the main performer) the person, we say, who has the name is the one you really like. It could be a singer or a comic. So you arrive at the theatre full of expectation (hope) and you are ready to sit back (relax) and be entertained (amused). Well, that seems reasonable (fair). After all you have paid for the tickets.' But it isn't as easy as that... You see this artist doesn't really want simply to come out in front of you until you are in the right mood (state of mind). I mean you could be in a bad mood because you had a rotten (very bad) journey to the theatre, the train was late, you had to pay for a taxi, it was snowing and so on and so on. So what this star does is employ a warm up man. Now his job is to warm you up make you feel happy, make you feel contented and prepare you for the great star. He tries telling you one or two jokes in the hope that you'll laugh.' He will get you to turn to the person next to you and shake them by the hand and tell them your name. After about half an hour of this banter (small talk) when he thinks you are ready to meet the star, he uses those famous (well known) words: And now ladies and gentlemen, I want you to put your hands together and welcome our star. What he's asking you to do is to applaud, clap your hands. Of course our warm up man could have asked the audience to give the star a big hand, which means applaud as loudly as you can... And that's the word I want to talk about ' ''hand'' because it crops up (appears) in several expressions.
 

In times of recession when there doesn't seem enough money to buy the essential (important) things in life, taxes go up and people lose their jobs. There are many ways in which people survive (continue living).' There are those with so little money that they lead a hand to mouth existence ' they only just have enough money to pay for food for their family.' What they would like to have is a rich relative (member of the family) who could put his hand in his pocket ' give them some money. Unfortunately we don't all have relatives with lots of money. You could of course go cap in hand to the bank manager ' ask very humbly (with great respect) for the bank to lend you some money. But then the bank manager has the same problem because his hands are tied - he too is unable to help as his boss is telling him not to lend any more money. There isn't much point in having a row (serious argument) with your employer and asking for more money. That would be like biting the hand that feeds you - being unpleasant to the very (exact) person who is helping you. What happens if you lose your job?' I suppose you could turn your hand to something different and try to do another job that's not the same as the one you have lost. 
What are you like when it comes to managing (controlling) others, either at work or more especially in the home?' Do you let your children have a free hand ' let them do exactly what they want to do?' What happens if you do that is that they will soon have the upper hand ' it won't be long before they start controlling you and that will usually make your life a misery (you will feel very unhappy).It may be too late but in the end you will have to take them in hand ' make sure that they do what you want. The trouble is that if you wait on them hand and foot ' look after them so much that they never do anything for themselves, it won't be long before they are completely out of hand out of control. 
''Experience'' (knowing something because you have seen or done something before) is another area where ''hand'' is used. If you keep your hand in with a hobby or a sport, you keep doing this so that you don't forget how to do it We call someone an old hand at something or at doing something or indeed a dab hand if they have practised a skill or a craft and know all about it as in: He's an old hand at sailing, which means he has sailed in boats for many years. Again: She's a dab hand at playing the piano, which means she plays the piano very well. By the way ''dab'' suggests that you repeatedly (again and again) pat (tap) something gently as when people dab their eyes with a handkerchief after crying. One of the best expressions for saying that you know something or someone very well is to know them like the back of your hand, which I hope is perfectly clear and makes sense as you can see in: He knows exactly what his friend of fifty years is going to do next because he knows him like the back of his hand.' 
I expect by now you must want to wash your hands completely (have no more to do with) of these expressions but my only hope is that you will be able to use them yourself very easily indeed without any problem or as we say: with one hand tied behind your back!

Put your hands together

What word would you use to describe somebody who never gives up, is decisive and continues doing what they want despite comments from other people? This is an adjective incidentally that is used very often to name a warship with, the sort that ploughs through the waves and cannot be stopped. It also describes someone who could in some circumstances be regarded as obstinate, depending of course on the way you regard them. The word begins with the letter &laquo;r&raquo; &mdash; any ideas? Well, the word I&#39;m thinking of is &laquo;resolute&raquo;. 
 
So, generals and political leaders want to take &laquo;resolute actions&raquo; They act &laquo;resolutely&raquo; to show just how determined they are. And now we come to the verb &laquo;resolve&raquo;, which is where it all starts. Imagine that there is an argument about the spelling of a word say between two people playing the game of scrabble as there often is and the one that&#39;s losing usually likes to question the correctness of the word presented by someone who&#39;s winning! 
 
There is invariably only one way to settle this and that&#39;s to look the word up in a dictionary and here in the UK it&#39;s got to be an Oxford dictionary. Once the word has been checked in the dictionary then the matter is settled or the matter is &laquo;resolved&raquo; and peace is restored to the game. On a more serious level we could be looking at an industrial dispute concerning working conditions, pay and hours of work, which looks as if it could result in a strike. There is an organisation whose function is to listen to both sides of any argument and then hope to find a solution so that there is no strike and in that way &laquo;resolve&raquo; the dispute. Interestingly enough the verb &laquo;resolve&raquo; can be used with and without an object. Look at this sentence: The trade union &laquo;resolved&raquo; (were determined) to go on strike although the management tried hard to &laquo;resolve&raquo; (find an answer to) the conflict. 
 
You may well be asking now what any of this has got to do with 2024 but my earnest request to you is to ask for your patience but you may well guess the connection when I give you the next word from this family descended from &laquo;resolve&raquo;. The word this time is a noun &mdash; &laquo;resolution&raquo;. 
 
Back to our imaginary strike. Suppose it is settled and everyone goes back to work. In that case we could say: The &laquo;resolution&raquo; (solving) of the strike was greeted enthusiastically by the management. Committees and councils hold meetings and decide certain measures that should be undertaken. They &laquo;pass&raquo; &laquo;resolutions&raquo;. In other words they make decisions about what should be done and when this should take place. Another meaning of the word &laquo;resolution&raquo; could be used in connection with how you read this newsletter on the screen. It is used in the description of the clarity of the images you see on the screen and also the quality of the printing from your printer. Obviously if you have a computer screen that has a &laquo;high resolution&raquo; the quality and clarity are good because the tiny little dots are very close together. 
 
And now if you&#39;re still with me, we come to the final use from the &laquo;resolve&raquo; family &mdash; the &laquo;<a href="https://english.best/articles/essays/new-year-resolutions">NEW YEAR RESOLUTION</a>&raquo;. This is an attempt to decide that you will definitely do something in the following year or that you will definitely not do something in the new year. You could for example decide that you will try and lose weight, change your job, go jogging every day. You could make a &laquo;resolution&raquo; to stop smoking, to eat less, to watch less television. And as for me? Well, I really can&#39;t decide and over the years I&#39;ve made &laquo;resolutions&raquo; and with the best will in the world I&#39;ve broken them within a matter of weeks and so now I simply dither and hesitate because I can&#39;t make up my mind what to choose in the way of &laquo;resolutions&raquo;. I know I could make mine to be positive throughout the whole of 2004 and make decisions quickly and furthermore to stick to them. Yes, that will do nicely. I&#39;m feeling more positive right now as I sit here writing this letter. On the other hand I&hellip;

Here comes New Year

In 1582 Pope Gregory XIII issued a papal bull (a sort of order or decree) stating among other things that the beginning of the new year would change from March 25th to January 1st. Most of the world therefore has lived under the Gregorian calendar for the last few hundred years.
 
I have been told but I certainly can't prove it that the length of the Gregorian year gives an error of one day in roughly 3,225 years, which to my unmathematical mind makes me want to congratulate Pope Gregory for doing a really good job.
 
The trouble with January 1st is that it brings with it to most people's minds the idea of «resolutions». When you «resolve» or are «resolved» to do something, you are determined to do it. Politicians love the word. The new leader of a political party stands up and declares or even states (note that politicians always declare and state, they never use words like say): I am «resolved» to stamp out poverty in this country, look after the old and give our children a good education. They make speeches like this with a «resolute» expression on their faces — a look of determination of defiance even. In this country we give the name «Resolute» to our warships. Nothing will stop them. But back to «New Year resolutions». These are things you solemnly say you are going to do during the next 364 days, or at least you say you will. They are your «intentions». You «intend» to do them. You're going to get to work on time. You're not going to kick the cat or shout at the dog. But then remember that old saying (the origin of which is lost in the mists of time): «The road to hell is paved with good intentions» — in other words you start off meaning to be good but slowly as you go down the slippery path and you forget what you intended and end up exactly where you started.
 
You can of course elevate your aspirations — think higher nobler thoughts and talk about «objectives» and «goals» — things you want to reach in the future. You set yourself tasks that you will fulfil with the passing of time. You draw up a «life plan» showing how by a certain year you will become a millionaire, live in a large house surrounded by fields and buy the most expensive car in the world.
 
At the same time you can also use another pair of words suggesting what you intend to do — «aims» and «targets» and that makes you sound business-like. It's what companies do. Their aim is to produce more and the extent of their production is their target. Then again the old saying gives you a warning: «Pride comes before a fall» — this comes from the Old Testament in the book of Proverbs. It suggests that if you think too much of yourself, you are likely to experience a fall — a failure. That's the point: if you make a resolution and you tell everyone, then you have to keep it. I have a confession to make. Most of the ones I have made over the years usually «fizzle out» — interesting expression that one because it means literally come to nothing after a good start. It comes from «fizz» — the sound made when you take a cork out of the bottle of a bubbling drink. Again there's a sort of firework you hold in your hand that sparkles and fizzes and then stops. You've probably noticed I've gone away from the main subject of resolutions. And that's because I've decided not to make any this year. How about you? The thing that really intrigues me is what happened on January 1st 1583. What do you reckon? Having changed the whole calendar, did Pope GregoryXIII himself make any New Year resolutions?

New year resolutions

A long, long time ago every evening for a whole week I used to put on a pair of large feathered wings, deliver a few lines from the pulpit in a church and pretend I was the Archangel Gabriel. I was taking part in a nativity play about the birth of Jesus Christ. I don't think I could possibly have entertained the idea of ever doing this in my own country and even now I look back in amazement that I ever did it in the first place. 
The play took place in an Anglican church in the centre of Zurich, Switzerland where I was earning a crust as an English teacher. The audience were mainly Swiss and I only hoped that they understood what I was on about. You may know that one of the often quoted lines is when the Angel says to Mary: "Hail thou that art highly favoured..." (Greetings to you who are highly favoured...) My one fear was that I would forget my lines and even worse that I would inadvertently describe Mary as "highly flavoured". Fortunately everything went off successfully and the local newspaper gave a favourable review but sadly no mention was made of the Archangel. I believe there was a somewhat sniffy disapproval that this particular messenger of God wore brown socks when he walked down the aisle of the church. It was not considered angelic! But I do assure you it was a very cold floor.
 
So it's that time of year again – Christmas and obviously it has different meanings to different people, depending on where you live and what your religion happens to be. In my country it has long been described as too commercial and there is a fierce competition to see when the first sign of the season appears in the shops. In some stores it even makes its initial appearance in August even before children go back to school for the start of the new academic year. From then on it's non-stop. There is usually a harking back to the 19th century when we think of the image of a typical Christmas scene where the robin sits on the branch of a tree, everybody looks extremely happy and healthy, a coach and horses can be seen making their way through the snow and invariably there is a picture of a large Christmas pudding together with a roast turkey – the one bird in the kingdom which never looks forward to Christmas. This is what you see on the traditional Christmas card. Here I turn to my encylopaedia alias Google: The first Christmas card was created and sent in 1843. A man named John Calcott Horsely printed the first Christmas card for Sir Henry Cole, the friend who had given him the idea. The card depicted a typical English family enjoying the holiday, and people performing acts of charity. An important part of Victorian Christmas spirit. A thousand copies of the card were printed and sold for one shilling.
 
To many people though, it's the story written by Charles Dickens, the Victorian novelist, called A Christmas Carol that they think of at this time of year. This tells of a horrible miser who refuses to let his clerk go home early to be with his family at Christmas time, to put extra coal on the fire in his office although it's freezing and who mumbles the word "Humbug" (my dictionary defines this as deceptive or false talk but what it suggests is that he thinks that Christmas is a waste of time and not real) The name of this man is Scrooge and the word is now in the language meaning someone who is very mean. Scrooge dreams three times on that Christmas Eve about Christmas Past, Christmas Present and Christmas Future and becomes aware of how he has devoted his whole life to money and ignored human relationships. When he finally awakes on Christmas morning, he is so delighted to be alive that he buys the biggest turkey he can find and sends it to the poor clerk who works for him and is immediately transformed into the jolliest chap in town. It is a delightful story and most importantly it has a happy ending. Very often with Dickens you see the hard side of life as he depicts the terrible conditions poor people lived in during the Victorian period, but in this story he exudes goodwill. Essentially Christmas used to convey a sense of magic and it was children who would accept that magic and believe it as my younger son once did when many years ago we happened to come face to face with a Father Christmas strolling through our local shopping centre on Christmas Eve, who said to him: "See you tonight."
 
Nowadays at least on my little island we all have to be "PC" (politically correct). We should tell the truth to children and not let them indulge in a bit of fantasy. Even the Christmas cards mustn't be too religious, they say. Why, in my newspaper this morning I've come across the ultimate in political correctness. It shows a Christmas card depicting six Brussels sprouts displayed as a triangle. Would you believe it? I think the newly converted Mr Scrooge might well be tempted to say: "humbug."
 
But then this is the time of peace and goodwill and with that in mind if you believe in Christmas and celebrate it, I hope you have a Happy time. And a Happy New Year.

That time of year

Queen Victoria reigned (ruled) for most of the 19th century in the UK. It was a time of great splendour and also of great poverty. If you want a true picture of what life was like for those who had a lot of money and those who had very little, you should read the novels of Charles Dickens. One of his most famous (well known) books is The Christmas Carol. It tells the story of a man called Scrooge who never liked spending money and always called out: 'Humbug' (suggesting that someone is tricking/deceiving you) when anybody wished him a Happy Christmas. On the night before Christmas day he has a series of dreams. The first is about when he was a young man in love. The second is about how he is now as a mean old man and the third is a possible description of when he dies and everyone remembers him as an unpleasant old man. When he wakes up, he is so pleased to be alive that his whole life changes and he decides to spend money and make everyone happy.
The name Scrooge' is now part of the language and is used to describe anyone who never spends any money. It is on traditional Christmas cards that you often see a Victorian household of the family enjoying their lunch, eating and drinking, which is where Scrooge decided to spend his Christmas day after his bad dreams. It was in 1843 that these cards started life. That particular year a certain Sir Henry Cole, a successful businessman wanted to send his colleagues and members of his family a card wishing them a Happy Christmas. He put this idea to his friend, John Calcott Horsley who printed a thousand copies at the cost of one shilling each. A shilling is equivalent to one twentieth of a pound sterling. America joined the postcard business in 1875 and in Canada in 1898. For the following 70 years different organizations arranged to cut out the pictures from the cards and pasted (stuck) into scrapbooks (books containing pictures and small pieces of information). This practice at least made sure that the cards were not wasted.
 
Today of course an important buzz (popular/fashionable) word is 'green' because we want to keep our planet clean and recycle as much as we can. It was with that in mind that the Woodland Trust was set up about forty years ago both to protect trees and plant new ones. In its first decade they were responsible for recycling 600 million Christmas cards and as a result they were able to plant over 140,00 trees, save huge amounts of CO2 from going into the atmosphere and that quantity was the same as keeping more than 5,000 cars off the road. Just think about it! How many Christmas cards will you be sending this year?

Christmas Cards

If you drive north up the motorway for about ten minutes from where I live, you'll come to what we call one of Britain's Stately Homes. These are large historic buildings that nowadays are open to the public providing you pay the entrance fee. The owners of these houses are now desperate to attract visitors simply because they have to find money somehow to pay for the upkeep of their huge houses. The one I'm talking about has been standing since the end of the 15th century and I must admit looks in pretty good shape. Over the centuries Queen Elizabeth 1st, Charles Dickens, Winston Churchill and even the Rolling Stones have popped in for a short or lengthy stay. The last mentioned are one of the many pop groups that have staged concerts there. Although it's about 10 miles from my little house, on a calm night when a rock concert is in full force, you can just about catch the sound of the odd strain of music percolating through the ether. Now that's just how I like to listen to loud pop music - at a distance of at least ten miles. And the name of this illustrious dwelling is Knebworth House. It has belonged to the Lytton family since 1490. In the 19th century the incumbent (owner) was Edward Bulwer Lytton, the Victorian novelist. He can make several claims to fame. He created the saying ''The pen is mightier than the sword'' (I'll let you work that one out yourself). He also wrote what are considered to be the worst opening lines in a novel (Paul Clifford):
 
''It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents, except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness''.
 
Personally I don't think it's that bad but as a result of this reputation the San Jose State University (California) established in 1982 a Bulwer Lytton Fiction Prize presented each year to a writer whose published novel is considered to be equally bad in its opening lines. Not, as you can imagine a much coveted prize (who would want it?) Oh and the last claim to fame is that our Edward had his wife incarcerated (imprisoned) on the grounds of insanity - hers, that is. She was however as sane as you and me (well you any way), quite sane and very intelligent, having written some 13 novels herself and was later released. Her ''madness'' was apparently due to the fact that she discovered Edward was having a series of love affairs. I should add that the present owners are happily married -together of course.
 
I mentioned that one of the visitors to Knebworth was Charles Dickens. In fact he and Edward Lytton were good friends and despite the latter being known for the dodgy start to one of his novels, his opinion was often sought by Dickens, who valued his judgment on his writing. Now Dickens was a great enthusiast for amateur dramatics and loved putting on plays and getting everyone up on stage. He was a great party-goer and his name seems always to be linked with Christmas. The traditional Christmas card invariably shows a picture of a Dickensian scene. And remember Dickens wrote A Christmas Carol. The main character in this novel is Mr. Scrooge, who resolutely refused to accept Christmas. Whenever the word was mentioned, his response would always be: Bah humbug! The first word is one of those you have to say out loud to give it its true value. Try it! It suggests ''nonsense'', ''rubbish''. What does ''humbug'' mean? It's difficult to find an exact synonym for but the sense of it is that you think someone is trying to trick or deceive you. Oh and it also means a hard boiled sweet with a peppermint flavour but of course Scrooge used it in its first meaning because he just didn't believe in Christmas or giving presents or wanting anyone to have an enjoyable time. Today ironically, he would be regarded as virtuous for saving energy because he never permitted much heat in his office. As a result his poor clerk sat at his desk all day and shivered. The name ''Scrooge'' has now entered the English language. We use it to describe anyone who's mean, tightfisted and never opens their wallet if they can help it. As the story opens, it is Christmas Eve. We see Scrooge walking up to his house and suddenly the knocker on the front door changes into the face of his former partner, Jacob Marley who died seven years ago. When Scrooge has finished his frugal meal, Jacob again appears as a ghostly figure dragging chains and reminding him that if he continues worshipping money, he will suffer even after death. He also warns Scrooge that he will be visited in the night by three ghosts.
 
Scrooge assumes the apparition has been caused by a spot of indigestion. But then that doesn't seem likely because he didn't really eat enough to warrant a stomach upset. The old man goes upstairs to his freezing bedroom and just as Marley had foretold, three ghosts appear before him one after the other as each hour passes. The first is called Christmas Past. Scrooge sees himself as a child and then as a young man in love. Yes, he's actually laughing! But his girlfriend, Bella is rejected as he chooses money in preference to love. Christmas Present shows his nephew at a Christmas dinner singing his uncle''s praises (saying what a good man he really is) although the other people at the table disagree. He also sees his poor clerk, Cratchit sitting at home with his family desperately trying to enjoy themselves despite the small meal and the cold. Finally Christmas Future appears and silently points at a grave with no name as he shows how no one regrets the death of Sctrooge. And then the old man wakes up relieved to find. he's still alive. The sun is shining and he actually leaps (well almost because he's still very old) out of bed. Rushes (well as quickly as his ancient legs allow) to the window and calls out to a small boy to buy the big turkey at the butcher''s and send it to the Cratchit family and for doing that the boy will be well rewarded.
 
So we have a traditional happy ending and also a moral, which today we might direct towards all those bankers with their annual bonuses! Tradition of course is a feature of Christmas and another regular ritual is the sending of Christmas cards first launched around the time Dickens was writing, which became as popular then as the email is today. But of all the most treasured events at this time of year is the school Nativity play portraying the birth of Christ and performed by small children. The best story of one of these productions I've ever heard and I don't care whether it's true or not, concerns one small boy whom we shall call Johnnie. Johnnie was the troublesome child in the class. He drove his teacher mad because he never stopped talking and never sat still. She then had what she considered to be a brainwave (a brilliant idea). She would put Johnnie in the Nativity play and he would play the part of Joseph. In the play, Johnnie was told, he and Mary would find they couldn't stay at the inn (hotel) but would have to overnight in a stable (where the animals slept) where Jesus would be born. Now being Joseph was a starring role even though there wasn't a lot to say but the fact that the offer had been made, changed Johnnie''s life. He was so pleased with himself that he became a model pupil (behaved perfectly).
 
For his teacher those weeks leading up to the play were pure bliss (heaven). Then came the night of the performance. The school hall was awash with emotional tears. There wasn't a dry eye to be seen. Well, that wasn't the case with older brothers and sisters who had been forced to attend. They weren't that affected. Johnnie comes onto the stage dragging a rather petulant Mary who was snivelling and asked the innkeeper if there was room for him and Mary. The innkeeper dutifully following the script tells him that he is sorry but the inn is: ''Full up.'' Then it happened. The pent up thespian (subdued theatrical player) inside Johnnie burst out. He forgot all about the script and said: Full up? You cannot be serious (he'd obviously been listening to the tennis player, McEnroe).The wife and I have trudged miles and miles today. The weather's been shocking and if that wasn't enough, the wife''s about to give birth any minute and so I insist you find us a room!'' It was at this point that Johnnie''s teacher started to have kittens (was in a state of panic), wet eyes suddenly dried, Johnnie''s mother''s cheeks went brilliant red, the head teacher was metaphorically writing her letter of resignation and a deadly silence prevailed. Even Mary stopped snivelling. The innkeeper was lost for words and thought Johnnie had gone mad but in a flash of inspiration said: ''All right, mate. Come in and we'll see what we can do''. And with that the play ended.
 
And while we're in the world of Nativity plays I must add that I was in one once. Not as a child, you understand but as an adult. I was teaching English in Zurich, Switzerland and somehow got involved with an amateur dramatic company who were doing a Nativity play in the English Church. The one part they couldn't fill was that of the Archangel Gabriel. Clearly no one had volunteered and without realising what it would involve, I agreed to take on the role. The worst aspect of the part was that you had to wear a large pair of wings. And when I say large, I mean enormous. The wings, as it were, wore you and not you them, if you follow. They squeaked too, as you walked. The one thing to avoid was narrow spaces because the wings had obviously completed many ''flying hours'' and were consequently weak. The play ran for three nights. Nights one and two ''flew'' past if you'll pardon the joke but night three I felt the left wing was definitely sagging (leaning) to one side. Nevertheless it held for the performance but the wretched thing dropped off as I was walking down the aisle at the very end. I can tell you it's very difficult to be both sensitive and angelic when you bend down to pick up a wing but as we were in a church most people refrained from laughing.
 
The following day all the members of the cast packed up and went home to their different countries for Christmas. Some by car, some by coach and some went home by air. As for me I took the train. Flying somehow didn't really appeal just then. After all, I had tried to impersonate an Archangel and look what happened - I'd ended up with only one wing!
 
If you do celebrate Christmas, have a happy one!

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