Hello, and welcome to the 100th annual cat lovers convention. My name is Gertrude Heinz, and I'm president of the national association of cat fanciers. Let me tell you, it's improbable for me to be standing before you as the president of anything having to do with cats, because when I was a little girl, I did NOT like cats, not in the least. For one thing, I was allergic to them - I still am. For another, I loved birds, and to me, cats were nothing but filthy bird killers. My views began to change in high school, when I found an injured cat on the side of the road and nursed him back to health. Imagine my surprise when this "him" turned out to be a "her," and delivered a litter of kittens in my bedroom closet! Well, that's where the story really begins. You see...
