A day in the life of a parliamentary candidate (3)
by Alan Townend
The crowd remained good-natured for the first part of his speech and Henry was feeling pleased with himself. And then, suddenly, half a dozen tractors roared onto the field.
"Do you like tomatoes?" shouted one of the tractor drivers. Henry hesitated for a moment and then replied: "Yes, I like them very much."
"Well, we can't sell them at a profit," said the tractor driver, "because the imported ones are too cheap. So rather than let them go to waste, you can have them!"
It was then that Henry noticed that the tractors were loaded with boxes of tomatoes, which the farmers started to throw at him. Unfortunately for Henry, two of them hit him full in the face. He realized that he had to say something quickly to win the crowd over to his side. "Thank you for your generous gift, but I really prefer them in sandwiches. And now let's get on with the meeting."
The crowd started to cheer and Henry managed to finish his speech without further interruptions. In the meantime the police had made a thorough search of Henry's house and assured him that there were no hidden bombs. He went back to his sister's house to collect his family.
After supper, Henry and his family went home. Later that evening the phone rang.
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"Do you like tomatoes?" shouted one of the tractor drivers. Henry hesitated for a moment and then replied: "Yes, I like them very much."
"Well, we can't sell them at a profit," said the tractor driver, "because the imported ones are too cheap. So rather than let them go to waste, you can have them!"
It was then that Henry noticed that the tractors were loaded with boxes of tomatoes, which the farmers started to throw at him. Unfortunately for Henry, two of them hit him full in the face. He realized that he had to say something quickly to win the crowd over to his side. "Thank you for your generous gift, but I really prefer them in sandwiches. And now let's get on with the meeting."
The crowd started to cheer and Henry managed to finish his speech without further interruptions. In the meantime the police had made a thorough search of Henry's house and assured him that there were no hidden bombs. He went back to his sister's house to collect his family.
Vera I've got some supper ready. I'm sure you must be starving. Henry You shouldn't have bothered. We can all go back home now. The police have searched the house thoroughly and they found nothing at all. Vera Well, at least stay and eat the nice salad I've made. Henry All right, Vera. Just so long as there are no tomatoes in it!
After supper, Henry and his family went home. Later that evening the phone rang.
Henry Hello. Man's voice Oh, Mr. Orpington. I've been trying to reach you all day. This is Paul Harris. I called you this morning. Henry You did indeed! I think you owe me an explanation. Harris Yes, I do. When I phoned you this morning I was cut off. It was a bad line or something. Henry Well, what about the bomb? Harris The bomb? What on earth do you mean? Henry That's what I'd like to know. You said, "I want to warn you about a bomb." Harris Oh, dear! I'm afraid there's been a misunderstanding. I didn't have time to finish my sentence. You see, I'm a farmer and I overheard some of the other farmers planning to break up your meeting. Henry I still fail to see what all this has got to do with a bomb. Harris Well, if we hadn't been cut off I was going to warn you about a bombardment of tomatoes!
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The Parliamentary Candidate
The Parliamentary Candidate (2)
The Parliamentary Candidate (3)
The Parliamentary Candidate (4)
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